You reign

I sit here having mixed emotions.

I had an interesting day today, made some kick-ass nasi lemak with my boy, Mr Win-win (our second attempt and i must say it's better than the first!!!) and kicked the ball around in the nearby field with the Keasberry's, Fu Tian, Win-win and of course, DanDan. Thankfully, there wasn't any repercussions. And i hope it stays that way.

Today has been an interesting day today. I've learnt that i can harbour sin in my heart and not let it go. Hey, but then again, isn't that like what i learn everyday?haha. But yea, today was more of a specific sin. 

I'm beginning to see how taking such a huge responsibility in OCF in my first year in Adelaide may have some problems. I'm still not familiar with some of the ways how things work and i'm so compelled to follow what others do. But still, i know sometimes God has placed me here for a reason.

But still, I am fearful, fearful that everything may crumble. The people around me are getting stretched and most of them are facing problems and i am so compelled to dive in to hold everyone together. To help. 

I feel so helpless.

My sister (how i am so much thankful to God for her) sent me this song below. I was just checking out the lyrics. And was reminded again about a short sharing i heard last night by Louie Giglio that Christ holds everything. I just flipped to Colossians and i noticed the headings of chapters 1, 2,and 3. 'Their faith in Christ, Preeminence in Christ, Reconciled in Christ, Sacrificial service for Christ, not philosophy but Christ, not legalism but Christ, not carnality but Christ." It's all about Christ. Him and Him only.

I'm in this position again where i acknowledge that You reign over everything, over this uni, this centre, this city, this state, this country, this earth, this universe. You reign. 

I'm surrendering everything to You. This ministry, this life, this body, this heart, myself. It's all about You. 

What could stand before You 
As You chose to embrace
A cross so undeserved You took for me
The weight of sin upon You 
When You offered Your life
As You walked the streets of men 
With fading strength

How could we live but not see
Your sacrifice
Your glory

You reign, You reign
Over everything Lord, You reign
With power, and justice divine
Over everything Lord, You reign

What was Your last thought
As You drew Your last breath
Where the victory was Yours for us to see
And all will know the truth
As we live by Your grace
Every praise to You alone

See now the King of Glory
Love of God become my calling
Father I surrender all I am to You forever