Let's go

Wow.

In His mercy, and God-willing, i will be starting my career as a pharmacist in a pharmacy at a local shopping complex.

It's interesting how the events unfolded.

I sent out my resume on Tuesday night (Wed morning more like it, at 12.30am). Got a call on Wed morning at 11ish am, went in for an interview on Thursday afternoon and got offered the job on the Friday. After praying and talking to some wise ppl, i took it up on Sat morning. Much thanks to a few individuals also who helped me in ways unimaginable (you know who you are :p).

Boy, am i excited!!

The past few days have just been filled with dreams and of interesting thoughts like, where am i going to go from here? What's my 5 yr goal? and questions along those lines. Then there was also the whole issue with whether to go back to M'sia or to stay here. (it's like i sorta know where God is calling/leading me to now but i'm just too stubborn)

As the semester draws to a close, i look back and recall all the experiences that i had in uni. Just had lunch with some of my mates and we were all reminiscing about the past and saying how we're going to share each other's embarassing photos/stories on our wedding days. haha. Let's see..I thank God for the friends that He has given me, for the experiences He has allowed me to go through. For sure, there were ups and downs but all in all, God still be praised :)

Assessments are around the corner and after that...who knows. but right now, i just want to stop and take a moment and thank Him and praise Him for EVERYTHING.

Aites, time to return to the books.

peace.

-might write more on the past 4 yrs and on what is to come later.

sttooooodiiieeee.

Thoughts

I praise You O Lord for the good times and the bad times.


The past few weeks, i have had this burden on my heart. With the impending end of uni, this huge weight of whether i'll be able to get a job here lies heavily upon my heart. Yes, i would want to work in Australia, purely on the grounds to have the experience of working in an overseas country. My heart at the end of the day is to return to where i was conceived, my homeland Malaysia. Coursemates have been getting calls and going for interviews while no one seemed to have responded to my resumes. And yea, been feeling down. Its not a nice feeling to be 'left out'. Haha.


This morning I woke up praying, asking God just for that one thing to motivate me again to push on. For that one thing. Lo and behold, in His mercy, He gave me that.


Just got a call from a pharmacy to go in tomorrow for an interview and boy, am i ecstatic. I don't care whether i get the job or not but right now, i just want to enjoy this feeling for the moment and go back to praying and asking Him for directions.


I have been faced with failures and various incidents in the past 2 yrs that i've sort of lost my self-confidence. It's true that at the end of the day, i want to be purely confident in Him (maybe He's teaching me that....). Like i always thought the problem with me is that i cannot keep focus on one thing but various things have suggested otherwise. I thought i don't have discipline but i have seen discipline expressed in various forms in me. Just not the same way it's expressed in other people. I did things that people suggested or followed other peoples example and tried as i much, it just didnt work. The end result was always the same. This morning I was just pouring that frustration out to Him and said, 'Lord, you know me the best. You created me. You know me better than I know myself. Amen'


Even with the Pharmacy profession. I STILL have my doubts about whether is this the right one for me. I'm not FULLY enjoying what i study, there are moments of ups and downs and i really don't see myself doing this long term(then again, i haven't fully experienced what this profession is to offer, i'm probably only at the tip of the iceberg..so who knowss...) But today again, i thank God that He spoke to me through a certain lecturer during my tut. To start it, i got a good rating from the counselling session we had. (Our tutorials are basically like acting classes now, we take turns acting as pharmacists while the lecturers/tutors/pharmacists are our patients). Mind you, i usually get borderline ratings but today, i had a bit better. I was so used to getting borderline ratings that i thought hey, maybe thats who I'm going to be, a borderline pharmacist.haha. But todays rating made me realised that hey, i actually can counsel somebody. The lecturer i had today went on talking about how he knew of some pharmacists who gave up the thought of spending less time with patients just so that they have more patients which of course meant more profit to actually spend more time with patients. He trained his staffs to do all the dispensing so that he need not have to dispense AT ALL and had the time to just talk to his patients. He went on making more money as his patients liked him so much.


That excites me..spending time with people and i'm thinking hey, i could actually enjoy this. This whole pharmacy thing could be a means to an end. Like hey, give out a tract to every Panadol sold. haha.


I've come to learn and experienced that God will work when there is a total surrender of one self and i am reminded again that it is the Person i should seek and not what He can do.

Long term, i would most probably pursue this crazy idea of doing full time or mission work but i want to be a tentmaker, like Paul. So right now, i'm just going to pick up where i left and pushed on this journey of self-discovery and more importantly, discovering more about Him, my First Love.

Thank You, Love

Joshua

I was at the evening service in Edge Church yesterday. Its probably the equivalent of Hillsongs/Shakers church in Syd and Melb for Adelaide. Funny thing happened. There was a bunch of us and we entered the church and got our seats. It was probably 5-6 rows from the front. After everyone got seated, i realised there was none left for me so i left everyone else and went to sit in the front alone. It was the second row from the front.

So there I was, worshipping God amongst Aussies and they suddenly did the whole, 'Aights, say hi to someone next to you.' And so i did, but when i introduced myself, no one got the name Wei Jin. It was like, 'Hi, I'm Wei Jin. ' 'Huh?' 'Weeei Jin' 'Huh?' And i dont know why but i blurted out 'Joshua' after a couple of times saying 'Wei Jin'. And they went,'oh, Hi, Josh!!' Haha. Must be thinking too much of Josh Lim in Klg. Oh well..from now on, I'm Josh Wong. LOL. hmm...or what about just Jin? That'd be quite cool eh? 

And guess who i sat next to....one of the Guglimucci's. Forgotten his name but it was Mike Gug's brother. 

Updates

Thank God sis is done with Pmr. now its the brother with his SAM. haha

haha, i think my family and i has a weird sense of humor. mum passed my ielts results thru maymay.

been collecting pine cones. brings back memories.

i rmb when we used to go to aust as a family for holidays and mum would get us to pick good ones to bring back to msia for decos in the hse. haha. we super swakoo ppl.

The past few weeks have been refreshing, i must say although it flew by very quickly. Been spending a lot of time by the river nearby just to destress and reflect. Everything seems to look prettier during spring. Birds are flying and singing, sun is shining, flowers are blooming, tall trees are oh so magnificent, everyone's outdoors.

'O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in Him'

Psalm 34:8

Leg's coming along ok. There are days when it dosent feel that bad and you think everythings ok and u push it a bit and the next day, it swells up and pain comes back and im reminded again that im not exactly fully functionable yet. So yea, the past few weeks hv been pretty much a mix of contrasting emotions:happy days when leg would be all good or depressed days when it hurts a bit. But everytime when that happens, i try to put things into perspective, there are more important things to think about than to whine about the long rehab process. 

God has been working and is still working with me and He's calling me to something..

Just need that lil bit of faith.

'Quiet Time'

Abang Danny sent me this yesterday and i thought it was quite apt with what i was gong through.

http://www.liveasif.org/view.cgi?article=4864

'Quiet Time' with Kasia Kedzia

Sep 30, 2008

When Your Best Is Not Good Enough

Over the past few weeks I have been more busy then usual. This busyness has felt good even when it bordered frustration. It felt good because I felt as though I was accomplishing things, helping people and being productive. Yet, all those warm, fuzzy, good feelings were torn to little peaces and stomped on by this weekend. 

During my time of ‘the good busyness’ there had been challenges that come up; family crisis that needed to be addressed, friendships that needed extra tending to, household issues left not completely dealt with and of course work challenges. As these different things came up I addressed them to the best of my ability and kept right on trooping, feeling pretty good about having made every effort and thought that I had kept my focus on God while doing so. 

However, sometimes no matter how hard I try I can feel like my best is just not good enough. So this past weekend, when the family issues reared their ugly head again, when work dished out a portion which I simply felt inadequate to handle while watching others coast on by, when a roommate completely dismissed and disacknowledged all my efforts, and when a friend felt disappointed in me, I felt like a failure in every aspect of my life. I had run out of love to give. I had been doing a lot but I had not been praying. 

Job 39:11 (NIV) Will you rely on him for his great strength? Will you leave your heavy work to him?

One failure after the next I tried to keep a happy face but eventually they all welled up to the surface until they began to gush out of me in streams of tears. Once this started, no matter how hard I tried I could not stop it, the tears kept coming and the pain, frustration and feeling of utter helplessness coiled tightly around my heart and stomach. I failed to fix what was broken. All my efforts had not been good enough. In this moment, I realized no matter how much I wanted my parent, boss, roommate and friend to see and legitimize all my efforts they could not. I realized that all though I was doing all I could to please God I was measuring my efforts by the human response scale. I was unable to perform and produce results by my own strength hence why I felt like an utter failure. I had not failed in God’s eyes but because I was not looking to Him I was unable to see past myself. All the while, I hadn’t given it over to the only one who could do anything about it. 


1 Chronicles 28:20 (Message) David continued to address Solomon: "Take charge! Take heart! Don't be anxious or get discouraged. GOD, my God, is with you in this; he won't walk off and leave you in the lurch. He's at your side until every last detail is completed for conducting the worship of GOD.

When I turned to God after the sobs ceased and there was no energy left to fight I was still, partly because I had no more energy to be anything but still, and partly because God stilled me. 

Psalm 65:7 (NAS) Who stills the roaring of the seas, The roaring of their waves, And the tumult of the peoples.

I realized that although he calls me to love and give to others, He also, in that same way loves me and wants to give to me. So when I feel like there is nothing left to give and I have failed in every way, God calls me to take heart and allow Him to love me for the mess I am. He wants me to come before Him and is waiting to listen. He will fix what is broken in His time and He will fix me when I’m broken. I know there will be many more times when my efforts will just seem not good enough but I must have faith that they are good enough for God. I must hope for better days. Finally, I must allow him to love me in order to be able to continue to love others. 

Isaiah 35:4 (Message) Tell fearful souls, "Courage! Take heart! GOD is here, right here, on his way to put things right And redress all wrongs. He's on his way! He'll save you!"

1 Corinthians 13 (NIV) 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Meet the Author:
Gods brought me a long way from the New York City Housing Projects. I studied the Bible, repented, and was baptized for the forgiveness of my sins when I was 17 and have been repenting and striving towards heaven ever since. The hardest thing about becoming a Christian at 17 was trusting that God would take care of me, meet my emotional teen needs, and help me overcome my enormous insecurities…what else would a teen girl have trouble with?

Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved  to DC  to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It’s the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.

Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God’s word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.