The futility of life

The entry below was typed out on the 9th of January.

My third day of placement at the local public hospital and I was posted at the acute emergency ward.
I woke up rather groggily due to the lack of sleep since like forever..haha, dragged myself to the my mum’s car and fell asleep again in the back of the car while she drove me to the hospital (yes, I know, pampered kid).

When I went to the ward to report myself in, there was already a patient who just came in with complaints of dizziness, her BP was 298/120 or something like that but yea, it was a shocker!!a real shocker. (normal is 120/80, you do the maths)

I was then given a 2 hour plus tutorial by the doctor there about anti hypertensives and the pathophysiology of those sorts of diseases. I was like, ‘wow, what a start to the day, so exciting, I just learnt so much!!’

I heard a ring suddenly and the doctor stopped talking to me and all the nurses suddenly got off their feet and started dashing here and there. Next thing I know, I see a person being pushed into the ward right in front of me, lying unconscious. Doctor drew the curtains, I stood aside knowing my place. You could hear all the gadgets beings used, like ER. I heard suddenly, 'Sudah mati.' I was like.... what the??

The staff were all still by the bed with the curtains drawn. A lady came up to me and asked me how was the patient. I had no idea why i did what i did but i just said, 'Sorry, she has passed away.' She broke down in front of me. I have no idea why i did not get the doctor or something and just blurted those words out. I mean, i could've been wrong or something (thankfully i wasn't). 10 minutes later, a man came into the ward and again the same thing happened.

Sigh.

30 minutes later, a mother rushed in carrying a little boy in my hands. I thought, 'Oh no, please not a small boy. Please..' He looked like he was probably 2-4 years old. Maybe older. Man, i still remember his face. The staff there was so efficient, in 30 secs, they were like trying to resuscitate the boy. I just stood there, shocked..praying for a miracle. Alas, he's in a better place now.

I still remember the faces of those who passed on and also the faces of their loved ones around. I also can't forget the wailing and the crying too.

The above recaps one of the many unexpected experiences that God has allowed me to go through over the past few days. I sit down here recounting them, realizing again that God IS at work in me and through me.

I thought i would complain about the 'system' and how i am a victim of it but i'm learning to not.

Simply because my passion is for the people and not the system.