Isaiah 43:18-19

I suscribe to Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life Daily Devotional and a whole host of other daily mails/updates/news/devos from other Christian ministries. So much so that sometimes i don't pay much attention in reading them, i just skim through them. hehe. I just like to expose myself to as much things as i can when i still can absorb. (more like try la ;P)

Today's entry from Rick Warren was interesting and somehow much relevant to me.

Isaiah 43:18-19
Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

*the computer labs here at uni just undergone a hardware update, we have uber cool huge screens now. Blogging has never been this fun!! haha, not to mention..wideeeeee*

I've been dwelling too much on the 'if only's. So much that i think it has paralysed me from doing things and being myself, and to move on.

I had a verse for the OCFer's during Kairos (OCF SA's annual leadership 'retreat') over the recent weekend. Joshua 3:5 "Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you." I felt, especially in our local centre that a season is ending a new one is beginning, one filled with GREAT things. But before THAT can happen, there is a need for us to consecrate ourselves and to really put Him first in our lives, individually and corporately. Another verse came about on the following day of Kairos, Luke 9:23 "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."

Never saw it to be so real to me too. Actually, from past experiences, everytime i had a verse or a word for the people around me, it seemed to be so relevant to me too. Maybe its His way to make sure i don't swell up with pride.

I thank God for Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

and the promise from Isaiah that when His word is preached, it will not return to Him void.
(ish, can't remember where that's from)

and whoooosh, the Comforter arrives.

:)

Broken

Send some rain, would You send some rain?
'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .

(Chorus)

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain

Daily bread, give us daily bread
Bless our bodies, keep our children fed
Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight
Wrap us up and warm us through
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time
Or maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .

(Chorus)

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude 
A lesson learned to hunger after You
That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead And if we never taste that bread

Oh, the differences that often are between
What we want and what we really need

So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight
Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away
And if that's the case . . .

(Chorus)

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace

But Jesus, would You please . . .

This song sorta describes some of my current emotions.

Luke 9:23 Then He said to them all, "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.

It's not an easy journey. I just pray for peace.

Random pics

OCF Uni SA's outgoing and incoming committee minus one

OCF Uni SA's outgoing committee. The missing guy was replaced by a picture and a 'drawing'. Haha.

Attended the Pharmacy Guild Ball.  The theme was Vintage Hollywood (whatever that means). haha. First time wearing a hat, always thought I wasn't the hat-type kinda person, never thought i could pull it off  but thanks to Ju-Lear, Yat Tuang and Sher Ri, i found one to wear...on the day before. Wasn't planning on spending any more $$ on the whole thing. The ticket was already so expensive. But yea, hat cost another extra aud 15 and i reckon i could wear it for other occasions too.

My 2 years anniversary

To my dearest Anterior Cruciate Ligament,

You used to reside in between my femur and tibia of my right knee but God chose to remove you for reasons still not fully known. Today marks the 2 years anniversary of living life without you. As my fellow human beings remember the loss when the Twin Towers came down in USA, I remember you.

Life really hasn't been the same since you 'left'. Watching football on tv has never been the same. Thoughts like, 'oh man, i can't wait to try that move on the field' have now turned to, 'oh my, he better be careful less he loses his ACL too'. Running up stairs and zig zag used to be pain free but now, it's a different story all together.

I thought i could move on without you. I remember the day when i tried to play a game of football with some of the guys. Boy, what an experience. I never want to go through that again. Everytime i swing my leg, i felt like the lower part of the leg was going to 'fly off'. I missed your grip and your strength. You held my legs together and really gave me stability. Since you were gone, life really hasn't been the same.

I must say, i kept wishing things were different. That you did not have to leave. But i gave this body of mine to Him a long time ago already and told Him to do as He pleases. And so, i have to move in obedience.

The past 2 years wasn't easy. I remember the times when i argued with my parents because i was so adamant to go get a replacement for you ASAP. To the point that they said i could do as i please. It was a struggle inside. I knew i wanted a replacement fast but at the same time, i just could not bring myself to dishonour them. And so, i moved in obedience again to wait and see how life would be without you. I remember the countless times i see people running and playing football freely and wished that i could be part of them too. I remember the times when i tried jogging and had to slow down due to the pain and well, let some old uncle overtake me and say, 'aiyo, you young man, why so slow?' Obviously, my ego took control of me. Not to forget the many times i fell into sadness and lamenting my predicament.

Over time, i realised that a replacement was needed and its currently in the position you vacated. Boy, was it an experience. To undergo surgery at 21. Who would have thought?
To my tendon whos now acting as a pseudo-ACL, i appreciate what you are doing for me in my right knee. You were not created for this function but medical advancements allows you to help the other ligaments in that area by taking up ACL's spot. I pray and hope that you will last this 'journey of life' till i die. I will do what i can to support you with physiotherapy.

By God's grace, i have not sustained any major injuries over the past 2 years. I look back also still wondering why you, my ACL, left. Apart from the countless dollars i have saved from futsal, i can't think of anything that has impacted me. Although, compared to the dollars spent in getting the replacement, i rather play futsal. I may be wiser now and maybe when i return to the field, i could be a better player. I have to choose my tackles wisely, move wisely and play wisely too. I will probably appreciate every single second on the field now also.

I look at other people. Those who are in a more serious condition than i am like cancer etc and i thank God that i still have life. I will learn not to focus so much on what i don't have but on what i have. It always has been a struggle as i can be more of a pessimists at times.

Maybe this is the lesson to be learnt. To seize what i have and make full use of it.

To my ACL, i miss you but life goes on. I look forward to the day when i can play football again. 10 more months.

My childhood dream of playing for Manchester United still holds.

:)

La la chai

*disclaimer: This post does not seek to stereotype people or accused others of bad fashion taste as the author believes that each individual has the right to dress and look in however they wish to a certain level. 

Manda said that my new haircut looks like a typical australasian look. (you should see students when they leave home for Australia to study-most of 'em will cut their hair short to save money on haircuts here and we all look so cute and youngish..haha. Went to this place opposite ACS Klang called Ahead just to try the place out before coming back to Adelaide)

A lot of the people here dressed what some Malaysians would call 'lala'-ly and they actually look quite cool. Even the asians here. I think its just the fashion. Something 'lala' back home would i guess be 'in' here. haha. And so when Manda said that, i was like.hmm..means, i look 'lala'. (boy, was i happy to be associated with a seafood.hehe. didnt get to eat my share of seafood when i was back because of an old wive's tale-seafood not good to eat during post op and i still cant eat them. ) Now i only need some tight jeans and tight black t and probably some blonde streaks in my hair. I've already got the necklace and i guess a bracelet would be a bonus. Not to forget the leather sling bag.

Pirated cd's anyone???hehe

The pharmacy guild ball is this coming Saturday, i might just go there dressed like a true Klangite. hmm..but seriously, what should i wear?

The picture above shows my new hairdo(actually come to think of it, not much diff also..oh well..haha) and me in a wheelchair at KLIA. Yup, i was in a wheelchair all the way from KLIA right to the moment i was picked up from Adelaide airport. You really get top priority. I got to cut queues and be the first to check in and first to get onto the plane, was even in the first row after the business class coz i need the leg space. There was about 8 of us which needed special attention ie wheelchairs, me and 7 other frail looking elderly people. One of them just went for a heart bypass. So yea, you can pretty much imagine everyone's awkward stares at me when we all passed them. I just held tightly to my crutch. haha

Last week at OCF, i jumped straight back into helping leading an Alpha group and we got a really interesting question. If God adopted us all as His children than Jesus should not be His only Son as said. How to answer?

I also realised that we sometimes see God through lenses. For example, if a child has bad relationship with his/her father or a bad picture of a father and never had a father figure in his/her life. The illustration of God as Our Father would not really appeal to her and strike her. But God is still the Father. How we see Him does not affect who He really is. And so i guess, i think we should learn to pray to ask God to move all this lenses that we use to see Him with to really know and see Him for Who He really is.

I'm looking forward to this Sunday. Can finally catch my breath and then maybe go for a swim after church.

:)

OCF Uni SA Agm is this Friday too. I will be stepping down from my current position. Oh boy..what's next??

Reflections

As I was driving home from physio yesterday (yes, i can drive already for those who have been asking - have been driving myself to physio and dropping Mum off at work, so kind of her to let me use her car), i realised that this 'handicap' of mine will always be there. I was ecstatic and how i could walk again after being so 'disabled' after the surgery. So much so that i 'forgot' that my right knee is still missing something (they removed a tendon to be my new pseudo-ACL, so eventhough i've got a new pseudo-ACL, i'm missing a tendon near my patella region).

I thought I was normal and able again.

All that disappeared when the physiotherapist reminded me of do's and don'ts when in Adelaide during this year long of recuperation and i was brought back down to earth. He mentioned that before the op, i probably had 75% use of my knee and after the op, i may be able to achieve 90-95% with good and adequate physio for the next 6 months.

Why not 100%?

I guess some things are not meant to be.

So, my friend, if you see me hobbling, please gently remind me to make a conscious effort to walk properly as i'm still paranoid about my right knee and don't put enough pressure on it. Note: gently remind me, not slap on my back as what i used to ask you to do if you see me hunching. Now, if you slap me on the back, i might fall and tear another ligament and the cycle worsens. haha. Do check on me also to make sure that i'm diligent in my physiotherapy sessions. (I bought a pair of goggles to 'revive' my swimming 'career' - doctors have been saying that it's one the safest and effective form of physio. Anyone care for a swim?haha). I still can't fully bend my knee and definitely can't duduk bersila and still require one crutch for long distances.

Interesting times indeed for Malaysia, talks of a new government have never been so widespread and talked about. Let's keep on praying for His will for this country. I heard a song by Planetshakers titled, 'Save Australia' once and i thought, 'What a nice prayer, the words were so apt, i wonder if Planetshakers would let me take the song and replace Australia with Malaysia'. Read an article about how it's easy to find a Chinese, Indian or Malay Hero. But it's hard to find a Malaysian hero. Some truths in that statement, a lot of us are filled with prejuidices and dissatisfaction towards one another. Most of us struggle to identify with one another at times too.

It's been a good 2 monthsish time of rejuvenation and self-discovery. Not to mention all the funky food i got to eat again. Instead of Chicken soup for the soul, i should write a book call 'Malaysian junk food for the soul'. Chpt 1, deep fried pork knuckles when gloomy coz the very sight of them would gross you out and you would chuckle at the thought of who is crazy enough to eat another animal's legs. 10minutes later, you're swallowing it down into your tummy. Chpt 2, eat nasi lemak with kari or banana leaf rice with beautiful curry till you lau sai to get the adrenaline rush to wash your sorrows away. Chpt 3, taufufa and gueylingko .....etc. u get the point. haha. Ooo, did i mention too that i also had the chance to check out the buka puasa stalls near my place. The scents were so refreshing. Beef rendang, ayam percik, ikan bakar...drools.

I return to Adelaide tonight with a sense of accomplishment. Mum kept telling me that this trip back home was to get my leg fixed and anything else was a bonus and i must say, i received a lot of bonuses. I told myself the main priorities for this trip back home was to just catch up with my family and friends and to get my leg fixed. I got more. I've learned things about myself again and have set new goals and priorities in my life (hopefully, they'll stay. haha).

I'm probably going to cry again tonight but oh well, haha, at least i've got a wheelchair and attendant to push me to the aeroplane.

hehehhehehhehehehhehehehehehehe.

I've got 3 papers to sit for next week, 8th, 9th and 12th. Would appreciate the support in praying. And there after, God-willing, the last semester.

Hopefully...

See you in Adelaide.